Mystery Infertility - (the worst kind)

We were married in July of 2001 and we decided almost
immediately that we wanted to start having children. I was
somewhat prepared for the possibility of infertility because
it had taken my parents 13 years to conceive, but we had no
reason to believe we would have the same problem. As soon
as we started trying it was on my mind constantly, and I was
sure I was having pregnancy symptoms every month. This was
something I was very anxious for and wanted very much. So
every month when I found out I was not pregnant I was always
disappointed. I remember once being three weeks late and
thinking this must be it, only to be disappointed in a big way.
At my regular yearly exam I was too shy to bring it up, but
my nurse asked if we were trying to conceive. I broke down
in tears and told her we had been trying for about 18 months
with no luck. The doctor came to talk to me about it and
prescribed Clomid. I took that for several months with no
luck. Eventually we decided it was time to have my husband
tested, and were told that his sperm count was "extremely
low." This was a major blow to his ego, and became something
he did not want to talk about. So I decided I would be patient
and let him decide when it was time to take the next step. I did
not want to cause hurt feelings between us by pressuring him
to look into it before he was ready. It was probably about 18
months later when he decided it was time to get the ball rolling.
He went in for another test, and this time we were told that
everything checked out fine with him. This was good and
frustrating news. We were both happy that there was no problem
on his side, but frustrated that we were back at square one, not
knowing what our problem was. We now believe the first test
must have given an incorrect result because of the distance we
had to travel to take the sample to the lab. If that is true, it took a
pretty major chunk out of the time we might have been focusing
on the real problem. So it was my turn again. I went to a new
doctor (we lived in a different state at this point). She asked a
few questions and did a blood test and determined that I probably
had PCOS. We tried Clomid again for a few months, and when that
didn't work she put me on Metformin and Letrozole (a cancer drug
that has helped some women with PCOS conceive). Still no luck,
and the medication was making me feel lousy. I had no energy. I
felt like I weighed 500 pounds and couldn't get off the couch. And
since I was still not getting pregnant, I gave up on it. I had another
friend who had been diagnosed with PCOS and had suffered two
heartbreaking miscarriages. She found a fertility doctor in the city
about an hour away, and when she was 17 weeks along and
confident that she wouldn't miscarry this time, she gave us the
good news and referred me to her doctor. At my consultation, the
doctor was wearing a goofy bandana on his head and making jokes
the whole time. And I liked it. He made me feel comfortable about
sharing the not-so-easy-to-share details about trying to conceive.
At this point we had been trying for 4 1/2 years. He wasn't
convinced I had PCOS (didn't rule it out either), and suggested an
HSG, which he performed two days later. (Sidenote: When I told
my mom I was having an HSG her first reaction was "Oh, that's
the WORST!" Lucky for me, I found it a little uncomfortable but
totally bearable. Maybe they have improved the procedure in
the last 30 years.
My point is, don't worry if you have to have it done.)The HSG
found nothing abnormal. Everything seemed to be flowing
clearly and shaped correctly. The doctor told me that while an
HSG is meant as a diagnostic tool, for some women it worked
like a therapy and actually helped them conceive. So he wanted
to wait a couple months before trying anything else. To my
huge surprise and my husband's disbelief (literally.... he didn't
believe it, even after three positive home tests, until an
ultrasound at 7 weeks confirmed it), I was pregnant that very
month. We would have concieved within days of the HSG being
performed after almost 5 years of trying, and our little miracle
was born in November 2006. Somehow the HSG must have
helped. We may never know what the problem is, but at least
we know it's possible, and now we have our little boy. We have
been trying again for about a year, and it looks like it's about
time to get outside help again. We hope it doesn't take as long
as before, and that we will be able to have more children. But
for me, it is much easier emotionally to be trying for another
baby than it was to be trying for our first, not knowing if it
would ever happen. And the fact that we are having trouble
again reminds me everyday what a miracle our little boy is,
and I don't take him or motherhood for granted. For everyone
who is still trying, I sincerely hope you are given the blessing of
children in one way or another. I know how discouraging and
heartbreaking this trial can be, but when you do get your
miracle, I believe this experience will positively influence the
way you feel about your children day-to-day and parenthood
in general.