Need advice on PCOS

My husband and I were married in April of 2003, and immediately started trying for a family. I had a feeling that it might take a while for us to conceive due to my irregular periods. But I was hopeful anyway. I saw a doctor after about 6 months of trying with no luck, and she wanted to just put me on birth control to regulate my cycle. I agreed, reluctantly. I had to do that for 3 months, then everything went back to the way it was before. We moved from California to Utah the following March, and thought that we might have more luck with Doctors in Utah. We just had to save up to see one. Both of our jobs did not offer health insurance, so we were on our own. In November that same year, I felt like I needed to buy a test. I was reluctant, because I hated seeing negative results. I had seen plenty of them already. I remember it like yesterday though. It was a Saturday morning. I woke up early and thought I would just get it over with. I sat in the bathroom trying not to look at the test, willing it to be positive. Finally after a few minutes I looked. I just about passed out. It was definately positive. I began to cry, not knowing what else to do. I called my doctor and was able to get in to see him that week. Because I had no idea how far along I was, due to my irregular periods, he requested an ultrasound. When I went to my appointment, they were unable to see anything. My doctor reassured me that it was just to early, and we would check again soon.A week later I began to spot. I freaked out... called my doctor, and he requested another ultrasound. Again, nothing was found. I was sure that I was miscarrying. Although, this time there was a small spot in my left tube. The ultrasound tech, and my doctor told me that it was probably nothing and that I shouldn't worry.The Monday after Thanksgiving my doctor called me to check and see how I was feeling. He kept telling me that he felt like something just wasn't right. He decided that I needed to see a specialist and sent me to Utah Valley Hospital. When I got there I was checked out by a doctor, and sent for yet another ultrasound. This time was different. A heartbeat was immediately detected. It was a strong heartbeat, and got my hopes up so high. Then the tech told me that it was ectopic, and my whole life changed.I went in for surgery the next morning, and ended up loosing my left tube. I was devastated. It took a long time for me to overcome the emotional aspects that came along with the surgery, and loss.We continued to try, and try, and try. Finally my doctor decided to try clomid. The first month it didn't work, we upped the dose. The second month, it didn't work... we upped the dose again. Like they all say, third times a charm. Well, the third month worked, and we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. Our baby girl is now 20 months old and the center of our universe. While going through all of our trials of infertility, I felt so alone. I hated going to church, being around all of those babies, and kids. I was called to be a sunbeam teacher, and although it was so hard at first I think it ended up being therapy for me. I thought, and hoped that our infertility story would end there, but as we are trying for #2, our struggles are back. Although things have changed, we've been trying for just over a year again. My doctor suspects that I have PCOS and wants me to come in for testing after the new year. He's again put me on birth control, which has done one good thing, made my incredibly heavy periods go from 3-6 weeks long to just 1 week, but still just as heavy... I keep looking for information on PCOS, and trying to find anyone that has gone through it and knows what to expect. If anyone has any information... I would love to hear it. Thanks again... I know my story ended up being so long... But, I didn't know what to leave out...Carrie

Yeah, I said it.

PezladyJana, remember when you emailed me about
your ectopic pregnancy and what happened 5 months
later. I was dying to say, ME TOO, but couldn't. Now
I can. No idea what I'm talking about? Go here.
Thanks to all of you for your support and love. It's
been quiet, any new stories out there? Or updates?

First ultrasound

Well, we had the ultrasound today and found out it's ONE
cute little baby! We saw the heartbeat and it's at 138 bpm
right now which the ultrasound tech said was really good.
Everything is on schedule right now, so we are really excited!
What is everyone else up to? We need to keep this board going
so if any of you are going through any treatments or struggles
or anything I would love to hear from you as I'm sure everyone
else would. This is a great place of support. :) Laura

New story

Well I found your blog just linking from one of my friends
to one of her's. I have been going through fertility issues
the past year. I have identical twin girls who are almost
four and a little boy who is almost 2. I never thought that
fertility would be an issue for me. In the past year, I have
had 2 miscarriages and since the last one have been trying
for almost 7 months with no luck of anything. I got a really
bad infection at the hospital after my little boy was born.
When that happened I felt strongly that it would effect my
future, but though the doctors still don't know exactly what
I had, they still are trying to assure me that that is not why
we are having problems now. The miscarriages I have had
both occurred because the egg stops growing as soon as it
implants. Anyways. If anyone has gone through a similar
thing I would love to hear about it. What a great blog you
have. My family blog is emmettandashlee.blogspot.com
I also have a Mom blog beingamomma.blogspot.com
Thanks for the great blog. It is nice to hear stories and
talk to other's who know how you feel. Thanks, Ashlee

p.s. I hope it's okay I posted you're blogs here, if not let
me know a.s.a.p. and I'll remove them! Jana

What's new?

It's been too long since anyone's posted. Sorry, I've been
a slacker. I don't have any new stories anyway, but we
should be talking about something don't you think? I was
on Laura's blog today so I've asked her to update us on her
pregnancy so stay tuned for that. There have been some
new comments posted on a couple of the stories recently
that I found interesting. One about the HCG test, go find
it and read it, it may clarify some things. Also, all my friends
out there who need to send in your stories, should I start
naming names?? You know who you are! I guess a good
question to ask to get some dialogue going would be: how
do you cope with having infertility?

Laura's results, finally!

I took a test yesterday and....we're gonna have a baby!
A blood test confirmed it today...I'm due June 20th! I
can hardly believe this is real. I've gone for so long
hearing, "The test came back negative", or seeing negatives
on home pregnancy tests. I can't believe it!!

Don't kill me!

For those of you dying to hear if Laura is pregnant,
like me........I'm going to Boise today! Don't panic I
will be home maybe around 9ish and believe me first
thing I will do is get her email and then pass on the
news. Everyone, keep your fingers crossed and we'll
all know soon!

New blog

This blog is for all kinds of women out there who have
struggled with having kids. My heart breaks for all of
you. It's not fair plain and simple. I've met some amazing
women through this experience and I'm very grateful for
all of your friendships and for the support I feel through
all of your stories. Until you've experienced the pain of not
being able to have children and also the lonliness we feel
because of it, it's hard to comrehend; we bond in a way that
others can't. I want everyone to feel comfortable sharing and
asking questions because in the end we're all after the same
goal. I had a friend recently start a new adoption blog with the
same premise. Please share these blogs with those around
you in the hopes that they may be comforted in the
knowledge that they are not alone.

Awesome video

Thought I would share this music video with you ladies. It's called "I Would Die For That" by Kellie Coffey....it just perfectly expresses my deepest emotions about wanting to become a mom....I didn't know if you'd seen it before so I thought I'd share it. Only 4 more days till we get to find out if I'm pregnant! Oh, I'm hoping... Laura

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqfGqOx2iDQ

reply for salt lake doctor

Hi Jana...I enjoy your blog. I am a friend of Brandi
McMillen. IVF is our only option and we hope to do
it next year sometime. I read that someone wanted
a referral for the Salt Lake Area. My RE is Harry
Hatasaka at the University of Utah. Like I said, I
haven't gone through with IVF but we have met him
for the initial exams/ultrasounds. He is great. I have
one friend that has done IVF 2 times with him and they
loved him. Hope that helps someone out.

Chalet Schenk

Please ask around.............

My husband and I tried for almost 5 years before
we conceived number one. Our boy is almost two
and we have been trying again for about a year.
We just moved to Ogden, Utah, and we are thinking
it will be time to look for a new fertility doctor pretty
soon. Does anyone have any recommendations in the
Ogden or Salt Lake areas?

Thanks,Emily

What's an IUI?

You girls are great!! Thanks so much for being there

for me -- I know this sounds silly, but just knowing
there are others out there like me that are thinking

of me and praying for me really helps, especially in

these 'trying times'. Jana suggested I describe an IUI

for those that may not know about it. It stands for

Intrauterine insemination. In my first IUI (Cycle 3

-- I'm on #5 now), I did shots of Menopur (FSH or

follicle stimulating hormone) for about 5 days, I think

that was what the protocol was anyway. Then I had the

follicle check ultrasound on Day 9. They told me I had

one follicle that was big enough and that I was supposed

to use an ovulation predictor kit to check for ovulation.

If it didn't happen by a certain time that they told me,

I was supposed to do a 'trigger' shot with hCG. This

would trigger ovulation in about 36 hours, which is when

my appointment was. We drove up to Boise and then my

husband and I were directed into a room that reminded

me a lot of regular check-up rooms like are used for pap

smears. I undressed from the waist down and covered

with a cloth. Then the nurse came in with the sperm,

which had been washed, and told me the sperm count.

I can't remember exactly what it was but they said it

was pretty good. Anyway, it's in a syringe with a catheter

on the end. (See the picture for what it looks like)

The IUI was much like a pap smear -- they inserted

the speculum and threaded the syringe into the uterus.

Before I knew it, I was done. So I sat up! She told me

to lay back down and to just relax for about 15 minutes.

After that, I went home and had to wait a dreadful two

weeks until I could go to the hospital for a blood test

that would determine if I was pregnant or not. I tried

to do everything I could to remain calm and not stress

about it...yeah, that is probably the hardest part. :)

Anyway the blood test came and then I found out I

wasn't pregnant...which brings us to today! I had a

follicle reduction yesterday right before the IUI. They

gave me several pills and a shot to make me calm and

woozy, and they worked right away! Then they inserted

the speculum and put a needle through the vaginal wall

- it feels like a pinch, well a little more than a pinch, but

not too horrible. The doctor was only going to leave 2

follicles but I asked her to leave 3. Am I crazy??? She

said it wouldn't increase the chance of pregnancy, just

the chance of multiples. I told her that was fine. :) Then

she did the IUI and I was done. We were in and out of

the office in an hour. The drugs made me so tired I slept

all the way home. So now we're in our two week wait....

my blood test is October 10th to check for pregnancy!!

And to answer your question Amy, we are seeing Dr.

Slater and we love her too! The whole staff there is great

-- so many of them have gone WAY out of their way to

help us and comfort us and it is so great. I am glad you

had success with her -- it gives me lots of hope! Oh, and

one other thing -- I'm also trying acupuncture now. I've

heard it helps, and right now I'm so desperate I'll try

ALMOST anything. I would be interested to hear if anyone

has tried that. And anyone who hasn't sent in their story,

please do!! I would love to hear about your experiences.

Laura

Laura update...........

I feel like I'm blog hogging....sorry. But here's an update
on the rest of today.... I got a call from my doctor's office
in Boise who was shocked. They said I had five mature
follicles and five that were pretty close....WAY more
than they expected! So I had three options: 1) Cancel
this cycle and go on BC pills for 3 weeks; 2) Do a follicle
reduction from 10 down to 3, or 3) Convert the cycle to
IVF. We decided to do the convert to IVF option. But
after we debated and stewed over it and had finally
made up our minds, the IVF coordinator called and said
I wouldn't have a very good chance...they'd still do it but
the chances weren't as good. It would be better to do
IVF from the very start and really work with the follicles
and get lots of eggs which it looks like my body would be
good at. So she recommended either of the first two
options. So I chose to do a follicle reduction instead of
completely cancelling the cycle because the meds are so
expensive (as you all know!) and I didn't want to waste
a cycle! So I have to do a trigger shot here in about 45
minutes, then we go in on Saturday morning for a follicle
reduction (they'll leave me with 3 follicles) and do an IUI.
Gosh, I've been through so many emotions today it's hard
to fathom all of this. Thanks for sticking with me through
this. And I'll try not to hog the blog so much. :)

UPDATE for Laura

Hi ladies, I had to share the good news! I am really
excited - I went in for my Day 9 Follicle Check
Ultrasound today and it looks like I have quite a few
follicles! I hope there aren't TOO many because I
definitely don't want to do a follicle reduction. But the
ultrasound tech was pretty encouraging and said,
"Hopefully we'll see you next time with a baby in there!"
And I was thinking, Yeah hopefully two babies! :) We've
got to get the most for our money. Ha ha Anyway, I'm
just so happy I had to share that -- I'll keep you updated
when we get to have the IUI or if I have to have a reduction.
Thanks for all your encouragement. I'm keeping all of you
who are trying in my thoughts and prayers -- we're in this
together girls! Laura

And thanks again Jana -- you are great!

Miscarriage and Ectopic Pregnancy

Time for another one, first of all thanks to you all
for sharing your stories. This will be a long one!

While going through all this "infertility" the doctors
pretty much told me I would never get pregnant on
my own. I always thought different, call it intuition.
Last October my period was late and I'm pretty regular.
I really didn't think too much about it, I just thought
I was late and then it was about 5 days late so I thought
I would take a test just to know. It turned out positive.
I told my husband "joe" and he said, "you better take
another one." (we were both in disbelief.) Plus I bought
one of the store "cheapies" so we thought maybe they
were defective in some way. I ran to the store and bought
a little more expensive one and took them. They all came
back positive and although we were still skeptical I was
beaming inside. About 10 days later I miscarried. I was
only 6 weeks along, but it was still a let down. Probably
not as much as some because my outlook was just
positive that I even became pregnant without help.
Then this last April I found out I was pregnant again.
I was really optimistic that this one would be fine. Then
I started bleeding again and bled for 5 days. I thought
I had a period so I took another pregnancy test and
it came back postive. I wasn't sure what was happening.
I made an appointment hoping they would just tell me
I was indeed pregnant and send me on my way. I got
there and they wanted to do an ultrasound. I wish I
would have told them no, but how do you say no to that.
I wanted to make sure everything was okay. They did
a vaginal ultrasound and didn't see anything. She told
me it was either because it was too early to detect it
or I could have an ectopic pregnancy. Of course that
night around 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the worst pain I've
ever felt in my whole life. I awoke out of a dream where
I saw 3 bodies who were all in excruciating pain going
from the bottom of my abdomin up to my chest and
then back down again. As I awoke they all merged to
one and it was my body they merged to. Very weird.
I drug myself to the bathroom (not sure why) instict
told me to go to the bathroom. At first I sat to go to the
bathroom which I did go, but the whole time I was
thinking get me off of here. As soon as Iwas done I hit
the floor into a fetal position crying out in agony. Joe
finally came in and I told him to go and research
ectopic pregnancy. I had heard they could be life
threatning, but I wasn't sure why or if that was even
true. Why hadn't I asked the nurse what to expect?
Meanwhile I'm on the bathroom floor moaning and groaning.
I finally managed to get myself back to my bed when Joe
came in and told me if I started feeling shoulder pain that
would mean internal bleeding. Long story short, I did have
an ectopic pregnancy. I started feeling the shoulder pain
about 3 hours after my initial pain and I went in to the
doctor at 9:00a.m. He kept me there and said I would need
surgery right away. It feels like gas bubbles up in your
shoulders; very hard to get comfortable. At around 12:30
I felt a little better and my doctor who was my previous
bishop was second guessing his decision. He thought maybe
he was misdiagnosing me. I told him I didn't want to chance
it so we went ahead with the surgery. He came out not
believing what he found. I had lost a liter of blood and he
had to close off my left tube. Basically, I was pregnant and
the baby was stuck in my tube and was growing there. As
it grew my tube burst. He thought they may have to
do a blood tranfusion so they watched my blood pressure
very closely for 4 hours. I was determined not to be
admitted so I made sure I passed all the required tests to
get the heck outta there. A normal blood pressure is 110 and
mine was down to 64 so it took a bit for it to raise. What a
miserable day that was.


I'm brave to post this picture. Joe took it from his phone
in the recovery room. The nurse, who was soooooooooooo
awesome said as they released me~ that in her 25 years of
being a nurse she has never released anybody who looked
so bad! I was so pale and I mean look at me, not pretty. I
had to chuckle a little bit at her comment though. I hadn't
seen myself but I felt like a was hit by a truck so I knew she
was probably right. I'm not sure how everyone else recovers
from a laparoscopy, but me, not so well. From the moment
I woke up it felt like very sharp stabbing pains up in my
shoulders and neck. I mean it's excruciating. My kids saw
me dealing with this and it freaked them out. Joe didn't
know what to do either. That's what is bad about it is that
there really is nothing you can do. Of course afterward my
mother-in-law told me when she was in the hospital one
time, they tilted her bed so her head was down and she
laid like that for a while and then when she sat up most
of the pain was relieved. Hopefully that will help some of
you if you have to deal with this. All I have to say is that
I'm grateful for my faith. I had Joe give me a preisthood
blessing that morning about 5:00 and then my dad gave
me one about 8:00 that night and instantly the sharp
pains went away. I was still uncomfortable, but nothing
like what I was. Expect to be out for a good 4 or 5 days
after something like this. Get some good friends and
family to come help you. It's really hard to do the easiest
things. One thing I had heard was that you ovulate from
different sides each month so I thought my chances were
cut in half, but my doctor told me that was an old wives
tale so I'm crossing my fingers it can still happen. I'll
keep you posted. I think we may get outside help if
nothing happens by the end of the year. I'll be 30 next
year and I want to be done by 35 so I gotta figure it
out.

Keep the stories coming ladies- Jana Dille

Taking Charge of your Fertility

Jana,

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for about
a year and a half now, It is so frustrating and i am so glad
that somebody decided to blog about it. It is so nice to talk
to other people who have been or are going through similar
things. I am tired of talking to all of my friends and family
who got pregnant so easily. It is getting hard for me to smile
back when they look at me and say "I guess I'm just a fertile
Mertile, it only took us one try". Well I am not and it is
bugging the crap out of me! :) Well anyway we are just
beginning the process of going to the doctors to see if they can
help. But I am reading a book right now that I think will help
anyone that is trying to get pregnant. It is called "Taking
Charge of your Fertility" By: Toni Weschler. It is an amazing
book and I wish I would have read it a year ago. It gives
women so much information about their bodies and how they
work. It also talks about how to chart your cycle each month
so that you know exactly when you are ovulating and how to
tell if you are pregnant at an early stage (that way you don't
have to wait for a missed period just to be dissapointed when
you start). I have found it very helpful in determining what
is wrong with me and why my husband and I haven't been able
to get pregnant. By reading the book you can know more about
your body and help the doctor determine what is wrong with
you on your first visit, that way you save a ton of money on
testing. Like I said I have only been charting for about 5 days
and I think I already know what the problem might be. Anyway,
I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has been or
wants to start trying to concieve. Hopefully it won't be long for
my husband and I now. :)

Ashley Muir

Mystery Infertility - (the worst kind)

We were married in July of 2001 and we decided almost
immediately that we wanted to start having children. I was
somewhat prepared for the possibility of infertility because
it had taken my parents 13 years to conceive, but we had no
reason to believe we would have the same problem. As soon
as we started trying it was on my mind constantly, and I was
sure I was having pregnancy symptoms every month. This was
something I was very anxious for and wanted very much. So
every month when I found out I was not pregnant I was always
disappointed. I remember once being three weeks late and
thinking this must be it, only to be disappointed in a big way.
At my regular yearly exam I was too shy to bring it up, but
my nurse asked if we were trying to conceive. I broke down
in tears and told her we had been trying for about 18 months
with no luck. The doctor came to talk to me about it and
prescribed Clomid. I took that for several months with no
luck. Eventually we decided it was time to have my husband
tested, and were told that his sperm count was "extremely
low." This was a major blow to his ego, and became something
he did not want to talk about. So I decided I would be patient
and let him decide when it was time to take the next step. I did
not want to cause hurt feelings between us by pressuring him
to look into it before he was ready. It was probably about 18
months later when he decided it was time to get the ball rolling.
He went in for another test, and this time we were told that
everything checked out fine with him. This was good and
frustrating news. We were both happy that there was no problem
on his side, but frustrated that we were back at square one, not
knowing what our problem was. We now believe the first test
must have given an incorrect result because of the distance we
had to travel to take the sample to the lab. If that is true, it took a
pretty major chunk out of the time we might have been focusing
on the real problem. So it was my turn again. I went to a new
doctor (we lived in a different state at this point). She asked a
few questions and did a blood test and determined that I probably
had PCOS. We tried Clomid again for a few months, and when that
didn't work she put me on Metformin and Letrozole (a cancer drug
that has helped some women with PCOS conceive). Still no luck,
and the medication was making me feel lousy. I had no energy. I
felt like I weighed 500 pounds and couldn't get off the couch. And
since I was still not getting pregnant, I gave up on it. I had another
friend who had been diagnosed with PCOS and had suffered two
heartbreaking miscarriages. She found a fertility doctor in the city
about an hour away, and when she was 17 weeks along and
confident that she wouldn't miscarry this time, she gave us the
good news and referred me to her doctor. At my consultation, the
doctor was wearing a goofy bandana on his head and making jokes
the whole time. And I liked it. He made me feel comfortable about
sharing the not-so-easy-to-share details about trying to conceive.
At this point we had been trying for 4 1/2 years. He wasn't
convinced I had PCOS (didn't rule it out either), and suggested an
HSG, which he performed two days later. (Sidenote: When I told
my mom I was having an HSG her first reaction was "Oh, that's
the WORST!" Lucky for me, I found it a little uncomfortable but
totally bearable. Maybe they have improved the procedure in
the last 30 years.
My point is, don't worry if you have to have it done.)The HSG
found nothing abnormal. Everything seemed to be flowing
clearly and shaped correctly. The doctor told me that while an
HSG is meant as a diagnostic tool, for some women it worked
like a therapy and actually helped them conceive. So he wanted
to wait a couple months before trying anything else. To my
huge surprise and my husband's disbelief (literally.... he didn't
believe it, even after three positive home tests, until an
ultrasound at 7 weeks confirmed it), I was pregnant that very
month. We would have concieved within days of the HSG being
performed after almost 5 years of trying, and our little miracle
was born in November 2006. Somehow the HSG must have
helped. We may never know what the problem is, but at least
we know it's possible, and now we have our little boy. We have
been trying again for about a year, and it looks like it's about
time to get outside help again. We hope it doesn't take as long
as before, and that we will be able to have more children. But
for me, it is much easier emotionally to be trying for another
baby than it was to be trying for our first, not knowing if it
would ever happen. And the fact that we are having trouble
again reminds me everyday what a miracle our little boy is,
and I don't take him or motherhood for granted. For everyone
who is still trying, I sincerely hope you are given the blessing of
children in one way or another. I know how discouraging and
heartbreaking this trial can be, but when you do get your
miracle, I believe this experience will positively influence the
way you feel about your children day-to-day and parenthood
in general.

more, more, more..............

I got on my email and I was so happy to see 3 stories in one
night!!!! Thanks ladies. If any of you reading these posts
have been there and don't want to share your whole story,
but may have some advice, please comment. Also I would
really appreciate any of you who could link this blog on your
personal blog so more people have the opportunity to look
at it. Thanks to those of you who already have. Most of
the hits have been from you. I will be posting again soon!

Anyone had an HSG test?

From the very beginning, my periods were extremely
irregular. I didn't start until the 9th grade, and by then
I'd begun to wonder if I'd ever start. Fast forward through
high school and college -- same thing, very irregular
periods. I went to see my OB/GYN for a first appointment
at age 21 and was diagnosed with PCOS. I didn't know
much about it at the time and wasn't married so I wasn't
thinking too much about having babies. But my future
husband and I were dating and the longer we dated the more
it crossed my mind. We were married in April of 2007 and
decided to wait a year to start trying. He also has some
infertility struggles, so we made an appointment in April
2008 with a fertility specialist. It is fortunate (if you can
call it that) that we got to skip some of the months of
"regular trying" knowing that wouldn't work and I couldn't
get pregnant without medical intervention. The first cycle
was with Clomid and it didn't even touch the follicles to
make them grow large enough to release the egg. The
second cycle was our first with injections, several days with
Menopur, and still the follicles weren't big enough. :( The
third cycle had more injectables and this time we got to try
an Intrauterine insemination (IUI) because I had one follicle
that was big enough. After the long, dreadful two-week wait,
I took a blood test...and it was negative. The fourth cycle was
last month and I had to do an HSG (hysterosalpingogram) as
well. This is where a catheter with a balloon is placed
(SHOVED...OUCH!) up into the uterus and dye is forced in
to see if it will fill the uterus and spill through the fallopian
tubes. If it does not, this means there is a blockage. Well, this
is what they saw the first time. Yep, I say first time because
the doctor wanted to have it done again. She was suspicious
because I had no causes for the tubes to be blocked. I went in
for a 2nd HSG and...success! The tubes are clear! But the
following ultrasound showed the follicles decreasing in size
and so the cycle was cancelled. Now we are on Cycle #5 with
injectables (more this time) and are just praying and hoping.
We'll keep you updated. And best of luck to all of you who are
still trying. You're in my thoughts and prayers.Laura

PCOS and still hoping

I am excited about your fertility stumpers blog,
I like to hear others stories and get ideas and suggestions
on things to try.I have to start by saying that so far my
fertility story doesn't have a happy ending and I know
there are others out there that need to hear that treatment
doesn't always work for everyone. It has taken me a long
time to come to terms with that.I have always known that
getting pregnant would not be easy because I have never
had a regular cycle, shortly before I got married I had a
cyst rupture on my ovary, the Dr. operated and decided
without my consent to cauterize many many cysts on my
ovaries. (Advise, don't let the Dr. do that..) He put me on
birth control and sent me on my way. A year later my hubby
and I decided to start trying for a baby, the 1st Dr. we saw
gave me a prescription for Clomid and said to call him in 6
months if Iam not pregnant (bad Dr.) We learned the hard
way that is a bad idea. So we went to Dr. #2 at the Mayo
clinic. After a year of lots of medication and money I was
diagnosed with severe PCOS and possible premature ovarian
failure. Possible caused by the Dr. cauterizing my ovaries.
We were told that my ovaries would not respond to medication
and there wasn't much hope, we were out of money so we went
home. We decided to try adoption and that is whole other story,
but needless so say we had 3 failed adoptions. Our hearts were
broken and we decided that If Heavenly Father ment for us to
have children then he would find a way for it to happen. I will
admit that it took me a long time to come to terms with all this,
I went thru all the stages of grief. I want others to know that
having a baby was and is my greatest wish, but when you let
go and leave it up to Heavenly Father and start dwelling on the
blessing in your life instead of the disappointments you will find
a way to smile again. Never give up hope!! Sorry this is so long,
I hope that it helps someone out there that is struggling .

5 IUI's

What a great idea your blog is. So many people suffer
with these problems in silence. Feeling out of place
and alone as they watch the countless families around
them. Hearing from others can definitely help you feel
less alone, and helps you reach out to others who might
also be suffering. And you start to realize that there
really are many others after a while. If you look, you
can start to recognize it in their eyes when they watch
other people's children and families. My husband and
I tried for five years before we were able to have a child.
They have never found anything wrong. I look normal,
he looks normal, but no magic. After years of testing,
hoping, and driving (because small towns certainly do not
have that kind of equipment), we were able to conceive.
It took us five "official" IUI's (intra uterine inseminations)
with clomid, and the shots, and the who shabang to get
pregnant. But before that we had been going to small town
docs who would just wash and insert the sperm based upon
timing. Maybe a good idea (we were hoping to save money)
maybe not. Who knows what makes one work and one not.
The hope each month was a killer, and the disappointment
each month even worse. We have been blessed with a
wonderful, beautiful son, but now that he is getting a little
older, and we are getting a little older, we are scared to
death of how long it will take this time, and how much harder
it will be now that we are older.

PCOS - Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome

If someone would have told me while I was in high school
that I would struggle through the trial of infertility,
I wouldn’t have been shocked. I had some unique experiences
that helped me prepare for this particular struggle in my
life, which I am now very grateful for. My body has never
really functioned in a “normal” fashion. I have ALWAYS
had very irregular monthly cycles. My first year of college,
I went an entire year without a period. That’s when I knew
things were just not right. I was advised to go on birth
control at the time just so that I would have regular cycles
for my own health and benefit.
After I got married, I really felt like I shouldn’t waste time
before trying to start a family. My husband, of course,
thought I was crazy. We were young and were in no hurry
to have children but I told him that I just felt like it was
something that was going to take awhile, and that we needed
to start thinking about it sooner than later. To this day, I am
grateful for a husband who supported me and stood behind
me…even though it was a little crazy and scary. After four
years of “trying” we were blessed with twins!
I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome,
or PCOS in the very beginning. I’ve since learned that
PCOS is a very broad diagnosis. I feel like it’s kind of
a blanket-diagnosis for any kind of infertility. It is
manifested in so many different ways and women tend
to experience such a wide range of symptoms. For me, it
meant that my eggs never matured enough to “drop”
which in-turns causes ovulation and eventually a period.
I started with the standard clomid treatment. We didn’t
get very far with this. We found that my body required
a large amount of medication to produce “mature” follicles.
We went down the road of artificial insemination and tried
that 4 or 5 times, I can’t quite remember. Nothing. I
remember talking about the option of In Vitro Fertilization,
or IVF with my doctors. For some reason, I never thought it
would have to come down to that…too expensive and a last
resort for sure. Little did I know that I was a perfect candidate
for this procedure.
When I was working with the fertility specialist, it was
determined that this was going to be my best option. Like
I said before, it took a lot of medication to get mature follicles
and my problem was that I would either get no eggs or too
many. The medication would stimulate ALL of the tiny
follicles, like up to 20 eggs rather than two or three! YIKES!!!
We decided to go ahead with IVF. This gave us so much more
control and I was all for that. We were able to harvest 50 eggs,
which apparently is a record number. The doctor felt that other
than my PCOS, I was healthy enough and young enough
that I shouldn’t need to implant more than two eggs. We went
ahead with two and both of them took! We couldn’t have been
more thrilled. We experienced success at our first attempt with
IVF which doesn’t always happen. I am so, so grateful.
Our twin boys are now almost 10 months old. I love being a
mother. All of the waiting and longing was SO worth it. It is
so hard at the time, but you just have to push through it. I’m
especially grateful that I listened to that little voice inside of
my head telling me to think about starting a family early.
I know that little things like that are not mere coincidences.
I’m not sure what the future holds for me and my family but
I know that things always work out. It may not always be
what you originally had in mind, but things work out all the
same. To all those who may be struggling in this area, hang
in there. I wish you the very best. It’s nice to have support
from people who have been there. Good luck!

First shared story - Thank you!

"My greatest desire, became my greatest challenge, which
ultimately is my greatest blessing".

This is my life motto, that I discovered through my experience
with infertility. My husband and I were married in May of
2001 and we always knew that we wanted to have children
and a family. The first three years of our marriage we were
on birth control (big joke now), so that we could spend time
getting to know each other and develop a solid relationship
before we brought children into the mix.

2004 we decided it was time to start a family and so therefore,
got off of the pill and tried. Each month passed, and nothing.
I remember one of my friends telling me to relax, and another
one telling me that it took forever for her to get pregnant...four
months. Man if that is forever, then life should be a breeze.
My forever....really is forever.

So, after one year of trying and no children, I (being very
impatient) went to my doctor and told him something was
wrong.

A bit of history...I have interstitial cystitis and vulvar
vestibulitis. The first "IC" is where my bladder is always
inflamed, and so I always feel like I have a bladder infection.
Luckily a 35 day dose of antibiotics (twice) has helped that
(for now). The second is where (forgive me for being a bit
graffic, I am a nurse) the tissue in my private area is thin
and frail, so is easily irritated and constantly sore with
hundreds of tiny little cuts. Imagine a paper cut, times
one hundred being irritated over and over.

So, after one year and no pregnancy I was certain (based
on my history) that there was something wrong and I knew
we needed to move forward with a more assertive approach.
We tried clomid...nothing. I had a few in office procedures
only to find out that the opening to my uterus was tight if not
closed off. Of course this forced me to go in for surgery,
because the doctor really couldn't get inside that way to see
anything. So I had a laproscopic and endoscopic surgery, mostly
exploratory. Only to find two cysts on my ovaries, that the
doctor removed but said they shouldn't have been causing any
problems. Oh, expect for the other part of my history....several
ER visits, doubled over in pain wanting to jab a knife through my
stomach, just to make the pain go away. Must have been the
cysts.

Then at this point the doctor said..."there is no reason why you
shouldn't be able to get pregnant and carry a baby full term".
Ok, so what next...I knew there was something wrong, I could
feel it. Well, before heading down to Salt Lake UoU to do further
research, we decided to test my husband. Long story short, after
a few more procedures, we found out that we will never be able to
have our own children...biologically. You need an egg and a sperm
to make a baby, we are missing some parts of that equation. We
looked into other options, which really there was only one...
medically. Donor....not an option. We didn't feel good about it.

Our last and only option...ADOPTION. Best decision we ever made.

We now have a two year old daughter that looks just like her
daddy. I have learned so much through our experience and
love telling my daughter's story, maybe for another time.

One thing that was difficult to overcome was the fact that I will
never (unless a miracle happened...we always welcome miracles)
be able to carry a child in my womb. I used to pray and ask for
one time to carry a child and feel it grow inside me and then I
would adopt all the children in the world if I was asked to. But
now I look back and I wouldn't trade our experience with our
daughter for anything. I am at peace with not being pregnant,
and actually...I am at peace with not having to deal with doctors
and ongoing research that may not get us anywhere but broke
and childless.

This is my story and I'm sticking to it. Hee Hee

"My greatest desire, became my greatest challenge,
which ultimately is my greatest blessing"
Ginger Ashlee

tick tock

78 hits so far and no stories yet? C'mon ladies, I know we're all
busy with our day, but get me an email so I can share another
story. I know, I'm impatient it's only been a day and 1/2.
I'll be waiting......................................

Where to begin?

After I was married we thought we'd wait to have kids for a year.
Don't we wish we had the choice! I never thought I
would have fertility problems. My mom, sister and grandma's-
you name it were all as fertile as could be, so why wouldn't I be?
This was a fertility stumper, hence the name of the blog. We tried
for a couple of years and talked to my OB about it and he acted
like it was no biggie. Then about 6 months later we talked to a
different doctor who said that after 12 months of trying, with
no conception is considered infertile. WhO KnEw?! So we first
tried chlomid for 6 months.....nothing. We were then sent to
Boise to figure things out. We started with arificial insemanation.
no, No, NO, and NOOOOOOOOOOO. Four times and nothing.
What a bummer. My husband didn't mind doing this process,
the nurses told him everytime how much his sperm count was
and to this day hasn't forgot to remind me that it's off the charts.
(He's pretty proud:) We decide to move on to bigger and better
things. IVF. Invitro Ferilization. What an ordeal. Lots of shots
and bloating and bruises on your hips and back. We harvested
23 eggs from this process and were very optimistic about it. We
went in the day we were suppposed to have it done and I tell ya,
I had a bad feeling about it. Just a feeling like, 'wait, wait, wait,
it's not going to work.' After the long wait, stress and now
desperation to have kids I didn't listen to that still small voice
and we did it anyway. I'm sure you all know the outcome of
that one. No luck. The thaw of the eggs for the first IVF
produced only 12 good eggs and we used 3 of them. After all
this anguish and lack of hope they decide to do a laparoscopy
(i'm not sure how to spell any of these big words and I'm too
lazy to look them up, so hopefully you get the gyst). Lo and
behold, tons of endometriosis and cysts all up in me. I thought
to myself, why are we just checking for this now? They cleaned
me out and after I took a little time to heal we were ready to try
again. This time the thaw produced only four eggs so we just took
a chance and put them all in. Finally, success!! Boy was I nervous
on the drive to find out how many babies I would be having. I
would barely talk to my husband. He'd try and talk to me and I
would literally tell him to be quiet. We were hoping and praying
for 2 and that's what we got. We were so lucky to have had a boy
and girl to help start our family. They were born 6 weeks early,
Macy was 5lbs 12oz. and Brady was 3lbs 7oz. they stayed in
Intensive Care for 2 and 4 weeks. That's another post on how
to cope with all that! Luckily they are healthy now and they will
be turning 3 in December-time has flown by! I know I didn't
tell too many of the details, but I would be happy to help
anybody with questions they might have. My advice to anyone
doing fertility treatments would be to make sure you don't do
any evasive treatment without knowing for sure that you've done
everything you can to make sure your body is ready for that
treatment. We spent so much money on things that I think would
have worked had I gotten rid of all that stuff in my body. After all
is said and done all of the work paid off and I am absolutely happy
of the outcome. There are more stories to come though. I've had
some trials having more children since, but I'll save that for
another post. Now, please.................email me your stories and
make sure to leave a comment and let me know what you think